In stage four, we have to learn to develop introspective awareness. But how do we actually do that? Do we think “now I will be introspectively aware?” Not so much.
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It’s not enough to be calm and centered. But it’s a good place from which to start.
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You thought you were meditating to get more focused, or calm, or whatever, and suddenly some anger, frustration, sadness or self-hatred wells up while you are sitting, and you think "what's gone wrong with my meditation?"
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I talked about magical thinking in an earlier post; perhaps I should have said wishful thinking instead. Thinking that things will just take care of themselves, that I don’t have to do any work, or any thinking, this is wishful thinking. Imagining that a result will come with no effort. Thinking that your teachers are infallible is actually an example of this kind of thinking. To succeed in the practice, we have to take responsibility for our own success, and not put it on someone or something else.
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When we see the world as we wish it were, and not as it is, we weaken our ability to actually make that wish a reality, and make ourselves suffer in the bargain. It is possible to reach a state of mind where we can accept what is and work from there; in doing so, we become much more effective and also much happier.
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We tend to get confused between philosophy and practice, as if they are both the same thing, as if, if we knew enough philosophy, that would in itself lead to happiness. But philosophy is a companion to practice, not practice itself.
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